“My dear, sweet child, that’s what I DO! It’s what I live for…”
I had it GOOD; I ruled the whole ocean, and wadn’t nothin’ anyone could do about it. Except Triton, the old kill-joy. Next thing I know, he’s in the palace, and I’m exiled to the dankest, drabbest digs under the sea. Pathetic.
So I reverted to doing what I do best, casting spells and making deals. Did brisk business, too; funny how many merfolk can’t stand on their own two fins. So I’d give’em a push, they’d fall, and I’d collect my fee- one way or another. Not a spectacular life, to be sure, but I got by.
Then, WHO should walk through my seaweed but Tritons little guppy, his youngest, dumbest favourite… this was too delicious! It was so easy, too; one little song and dance and she was mine, hook, line and sinker. Everything was sailing along smoothly and in three days time I was gonna be swimming in luxury once again, but there are always waves. I underestimated the little tart, I admit it; I didn’t think she had it in her. So I stepped in and worked my magic- got all the way to the altar, too.
Well, that little urchin was persistent, I give her that, and she and her drippy little sidekicks swooped in and ruined my day. Even though I rallied, I still got it, right between the tentacles. She got her prince, and I got shafted. Turned out she was more devious than I gaave her credit for. Moral of the story, kids, is this: when you hook yourself a fish, make sure there’s not a baracuda at the other end of the line.